The way forward for the Rover brand.

Written for AROnline



As regular readers of this site will know, I'm a BL lover. I really should join BL-coholics Anonymous, but that's beside the point. The car that first sparked my love of old motors was a Rover SD1 V8 my father owned from my birth until when I was 5. This is, I'm sure, the car that also helped focus my love of cars mainly upon BL.

Back when the SD1 was current, Rover were seen as a premium brand still. Since the P4, Rover had been innovative, unusual, and forward thinking. However, from 1991 (The launch of the R17 800) the company decided to focus upon a slightly tweedy and British image, reinforced by lots of cow, tree, and chromery. And it is in this guise - a car for the elderly - that Rover ended it's existence in 2005. The Rover brand was the British BMW of it's day until the year of my birth, and following that it sought to carve a different path for itself. I would partially blame BMW themselves for this - the custodians of Rover for much of the Nineties were hardly likely to develop in-house competitors. This is evident with the 75 - where the 3 and 5 Series BMWs were sporting saloons, the 75 was a waft-mobile. The customers of one company were not thought to have been in the market for the other.

But politics have put those days behind us; ending the existence of the Rover brand in 2005 with the closure of MG Rover and the company's purchase by NAC and SAIC of China. Amid much to-ing and fro-ing, these companies have now readied a new car for the UK, to be built in Longbridge. However, that's not the focus of my article. What is, is the fact that MG-Rover did not own the Rover name. This was owned by BMW and licenced to MG-Rover, as part of the contract made with Ford when the Jaguar and Land-Rover brands were sold to the American giant. The Rover nameplate also was sold to them outright a couple of years ago, and thus moved to TATA with their purchase of JLR. This set me thinking.

Jaguar will not be replacing the X-Type when it is discontinued in the next year or so. They blame lack of sales for this, but I think the reason is that a small saloon simply doe not fit into Jaguar's new advanced and upmarket range. However, there is no denying that they would be sacrificing a huge sector of the market in not providing a 3-Series rival. And so my thoughts started to form into an idea...

Tata have the Rover nameplate, which was a leading premium brand during it's heyday. The company pioneered the idea of a large executive hatchback; a genre which is finding favour once again after a ten year hiatus. They need a car to take on the 3-Series and A4/A5. They have the accomplished X-Type and XF chassis. So why not create a new Rover to fill the gap? Looking at it, it isn't such a silly idea as it might seem at first glance. It's entirely possible to create a car which fits stylistically with the Jags, yet retains a Rover identity. The heritage of the SD1 can be used to bolster it in it's first stages of production. It's a more fitting use of the name than letting it die.

How can we do this? My idea is to do something retro yet modern - combining something unmistakably classic Rover with something modern and chic. So I've created a couple of quick mock ups, which show this in it's best light. The exterior is an unmistakably Ian Callum-esque take on the SD1 theme, with the interior being a modernised interpretation. So we replace the walnut of the SD1 VP with aluminium, we have an LCD dashboard, we retain the two spoke wheel but incorporate the airbag. The idea would be to use a modified XF floorpan, with 2.5 and 3.0 V6s, the 3.5 V8 used only in the X350 XJ, and the 5.0 supercharged V8 in a hairy one. If you like tractor engines, some sort of diseasal would also be available. Tata/JLR, I hope you're taking note of this idea.

So, would this work? There's only one way to answer that, and it's put it to a public vote. Who, having read this and seen the images, would buy one of these over a 3 Series, C Class, or Audi A4/5? And who thinks I'm a sentimental nitwit pining for the past? Over to you.

International Classic Car Motor Show, 2009.

On Sunday 15th November I made the pilgrimage to Birmingham for the International Classic Car Motors Show. The show is special in my eyes for the variety of cars on show, and for the opportunities to experience them not only as static displays, but from the passenger seat also courtesy of the Sporting Bears Motor Club.

Exhibits this year ranged from a faintly ridiculous stretch VW to a sublime pair of Gordon Keebles, filling the first four halls of the NEC. The usual extras were in attendance too, ranging from classic car publications to a stall selling expensive but exquisite driving gloves. As usual, a good third of Hall 1 was taken up by dealerships - upon whose stands I found several cosmetically and aromatically appealing Daimlers and Jaguars. Smell is something Mercedes, despite mastering baroque style, never quite got right.

I shan't pretend I saw it all: too much to see and too little time. But a number of cars caught my eye and captured my heart.

First to tempt me was a sure-fire future classic: The Jaguar XFR. Comfortable, quick, and much more of a quality product than I'd expected given my experiences of recent Jags, that is a car which will grow old gracefully.

Footman James had a pair of 420s on their stand: one of which was a truly pristine Jaguar. But the smashed and stricken Daimler next to it was the one which wooed me - it's fall from grace was disheartening but it seemed beautifully original, and bar the misshapen rear in a usable rather than concours condition.

I was also really rather impressed with the Rolls Royce Phantom. I can't say that exclusivity comes as standard - there were 4 there and I saw two within 5 days of the show - but it's a high class product.

Car, and club, of the show for me go to the Gordon-Keeble Owners' Club. Not only did they display two of the 99 built, but the people on the stand were informative and pleasant to boot. I must thank them for allowing me to sit in a G-K: a once-in-a-lifetime and wholly magical experience.

But the cherry on the cake was the SD1. My very earliest memories are of my father's V8 VP which was sold when I was 5, and I am convinced that car is responsible for my love of old tin. One kind chap from the SD1 club let me sit in his S1 3500 - a misty eyed moment upon which to end the day.

As is, I understand, traditional, the horn of every car was sounded at 5.30pm to signal the end of the three day event. The symphony provided was aural heaven.

Thanks to Dan Pyke and Lindsey Smith for the lift down from Sheffield, and to both Richard Clements and Jonathan Sellars for putting up with me for the day. Thanks also to the many owners and enthusiasts willing to spend time chatting to me, and for making the day memorable. I can only apologise to those I meant to meet, but lacked the time to. There will be some other time.




Triumph's Herald hatchback prototype, fresh from restoration. The Coupe next to it is a faithful replica of the Brabham Herald prototype, sprting a private number plate just 2 digits from that of the original.



Plenty of XJ-S Jaguars on show, although none as nice as this car, updated using later XJS bumpers and wheels.




Another XJ-S; this time the rare and powerful Lister Le-Mans.




Our man Skelton with Jonathan Sellars and a Jaguar XFR.





The Rover SD1 Club put on a good show - and were cracking people to boot.



With thanks to Jonathan Sellars for the photos of the Lister Le Mans and Rover SD1.

The must-have Mulsanne

It was August when I first set eyes upon Bentley's new Mulsanne. I wrote about it on this very site at the time, saying I thought it too bling, too overt, too 'non-U' to appeal to we Bentley connoisseurs.

But I was wrong. I still stand by everything I said in August; that the wheels were too big and too chromed, that it was far too 50 Pence, P Diddly or Acorn for my liking. The chromed window surrounds were too heavy-handed, the colour didn't suit it, and it was not elegant. The biggest issue in my view was that the wide wings and grille, and single round headlights, made the nose look pinched.

Bentley's mistake was smaller than I first thought. The problem was to launch it at Pebble Beach in it's blingomatic guise, rather than in a more tastefully sporting spec. I've since seen pictures of the Frankfurt show car. In Neptune Blue and set upon five spoke alloy wheels, the car looks infinitely more upmarket than it did in Champagne and with 4 chromed dustbin lids masquerading as wheels. It also seems - though this could be a trick of the light at Frankfurt - that the chromed window surrounds are an optional extra.

But I've been playing around, as is my wont, in Photoshop. And in Brooklands Green, on those 5 spoke wheels, it looks damn good. Good enough, certainly, for me to change my mind and conclude that it really does look like a proper Bentley. The Frankfurt car also helped me see what is even more apparent in the recoloured car at the top of this article; just how close I got to the real thing in my pre-launch photoshop from early August.

Bentley seem to have snatched victory from the jaws of defeat here. But, in fairness, I can see why they did what they did. The fact is, most cars of the Mulsanne's ilk are bought by blingsters nowadays. Bentley were trying to sell the car to it's prospective buyers. We connoisseurs could wait, they must have thought, because we're more likely to buy them secondhand than new. I hope that Bentley see fit to display one at the NEC this year - I understand there is a hall for the high class modern stuff as well as for the classics - to give me a chance to judge it for real. But until I see it in the metal, I'm now happy with it.

The camaraderie of classic car connoisseurs, and my first tastes of Leyland

Written for AROnline




Last Sunday I went to a Rover 800 forum and M+MOC forum meetup at the premises of my friend Mal Watson near York. I met up with several old friends, and met some new faces. However, I will remember the weekend mostly for two things. Mal's barn is on a farm, with several private roads, and I was lucky enough be offered the chance to try two cars I have never driven before.

Firstly, Chris from the Rover 800 board offered me a spin in his Startins Regency. For those who don't know, a Regency is a Rover 827Si with two feet added to the middle. I've always liked big cars, and the Rover 800 is an old favourite, so I relished the opportunity to drive my first 800. The first thing I noticed was that the steering is very light indeed - there is feel but it's a very easy car to drive. Secondly, the extra length didn't seem to adversely affect it that much - only when trying a three point turn - that became 5 due to the width of the roads - did I have any problems. It's also cemented my desire to own an 827 - although maybe not one quite that long to begin with.

Secondly, Ray Greenwood, who had given me a lift up from Sheffield, gave me the keys to his Austin Montego 1.6 Mayfair; the car I used to illustrate my last blog.. This was the first manual car I'd driven since passing my test, so my first thought was not to foul up and stall it before I'd set off. However, the gearbox wasn't a worry at all. What was a concern was the steering. Perhaps I'm a limp-wristed fairy nancy-boy, but I found the non-assisted steering unbelievably heavy - here is a car which needs power assistance. I'm assured by Ray that it frees up at speed. From a passenger's point of view, the car surprised me in it's civility. Even at motorway speeds it was relaxed and quiet; more so even than my father's 2001 Jaguar. A twenty-five year old design it did not seem. Again, I'm impressed enough to want one - although a Vanden Plas EFi auto is more my thing I think.

The event also taught me something that those into the old car scene will appreciate. It's not just about the cars, nor even the shows. It's about the friendships you form. This was the first time I had met Chris, and only the second time I'd met Ray. And yet both were willing to let me drive their cars; when neither had seen me drive before. It was only the second time I'd met Mal Watson, and yet he was kind enough to welcome me into his premises like an old friend. I knew a number of people from previous events, and some were new to me. Yet all of them greeted me as an old comrade, and made me feel at home. And because we are BL enthusiasts, there's no elitism such as you'd find in Mercedes, Jaguar, or Rolls Royce circles. It was the perfect way to end the show season.

Except that it isn't the end. In a fortnight I'm doing the NEC show, which should be just as good.

Back to Bla...er...Brown?

Written for Practical Classics





Forgive me if this blog doesn't seem to talk about cars that much - I accept that it doesn't. I have however got a point to make, so if you're not doing much - washing the dog, taking the dishes for a walk etc - stick around.

There is - or seems to be - a stigma attached to the colour brown. Don't ask me why, there just is. Brown is a colour that most of the fashionista would dismiss as just being uncool.

Why? Lots of nice things are brown. Cask ales are by and large brown. My old, worn, and much loved pair of shoes are brown. Dogs are brown. Wood is brown. And yet when somebody chooses brown from a list of available colours somehow he becomes a social pariah, liked only by those whose guide dogs cannot tell the difference.

As somebody who wouldn't know if Ralph Saint Laurent were doing anything new or daring this year (or decade), it will come as scant surprise to you that I rather like brown. I do. From here I can see my brown curtains, brown bedsheets, brown quilt cover and pillow, brown wardrobes, brown door and brown noticeboard. The eagle eyed may also have spotted that the titles of blogs here are picked out in Leyland Mace brown - a particularly questionable shade.

Which brings me onto a more relevant topic. Brown seems to have fallen from most car manufacturers' colour charts now. I can think of but a few cars I know can be ordered in such a hue. Toyota's Avensis and the new Smart are the most prolific examples. And the number with brown interiors is fewer still - cream doesn't count. I'm having trouble thinking of any cars from the last 2 decades with brown seats and a brown dashboard.

And yet in the right shade and application it can look sublime. I once saw a metallic brown Maserati Quattroporte which looked like it had just come out of the pages of a fashionable motoring magazine. Which was exactly where I saw it. The brown Montego Mayfair at the top of this article manages to look fantastic, even though it's brown. And a Montego.

Brown is due a comeback, and the cars we have today are ideal to do this with. The new Jaguar range. the Aston Rapide. Hell, even the new Bentley Mulsanne would look stunning in metallic brown. So I've decided to form a society; the Brown Car Appreciation Guild. This will serve not only to unite those of us with such taste, but to convince car manufacturers that there is a market for scatologically shaded saloons and sportsters. Who's with me?

A new vehicle concept, 30 years ago.

Written for AROnline




I'd like to talk about Audis and BMWs in this blog. There, I've said it. Those who may be outraged by such talk on this site, please feel free to keep quiet. But I have a very good reason for doing so, and it involves possibly my very favourite of all BL's products.

Audi have recently launched their A5 Sportback, and BMW the competing 5-Series GT. These cars are both, as far as I can see, pointless. The Audi A4 and BMW 5-series are already available as a saloon, or for those who want a tailgate, as estates. So naturally, we need hatchback versions of both to plug the gap in the middle. Of course, I may be missing the plot spectacularly here - after all, German execs are not my thing. They might be aimed at someone wanting something more exclusive than an A4 or 5-Series, in which case they will achieve their aim. For about ten minutes, until everyone has them.

Alright, I'm being overly cynical. But this is because both companies, as far as I can see, cater for the markets these cars are aimed at already. The idea of a large and upmarket hatchback is one that appeals to me greatly. Which brings me nicely into the BL themed bit of the blog.

The point I'm making is this. Audi's press release states that the Sportback is "a new vehicle concept" and "setting new trends in vehicle design". BMW haven't been quite so fatuous as to assume that they originated the concept of an executive hatch - their press release bangs on about a cross between a classically styled GT and a saloon car. But in either case, it is implied that the concept is new. In 1976, Rover replaced the P6 range with the SD1 range. This was an executive hatchback; and unlike the Audi or BMW, it can rightly claim to be a first. And it was a hit - it was upmarket, and made by a company with a history of producing good executive cars (albeit under the umbrella of BL, so quality wasn't always quite right). It spawned many imitators, but the Rover is the one everyone remembers. It was replaced in 1986 by the 800 - available as a fastback by 1988. The 800 was a cop-out in my opinion; offered in saloon form for those who didn't see the appeal of a hatch, and thought was even given to market the hatch as an inferior model under the name of 600. With the exception of Vauxhall's Signum, executive hatchbacks pretty much died with the 800 in 1999. They didn't even bother by the time the 75 came along. Since then, the genre has more or less ceased to exist. And everyone else who tried seemed to fail in this sector. How many Renault Safranes, Fiat Cromas, Ford Granada MK3s, and Citroen XMs have you seen recently?

But the press will love the A5 Sportback and 5-series GT, stating that a large executive hatchback is a great idea. The reason? Because the 2 companies doing it are the darlings of the popular motoring press; Audi and BMW. Yet I doubt the idea will take off again, because they've done it the wrong way. Going back to the top of the blog for a second, both cars already have an equivalent saloon and an equivalent estate. And I am yet to work out quite why we need more choice than that. I mean, if neither an A4 or A4 Avant suits you, there are several other perfectly good executive saloons for similar money. If you want a medium sized Audi, what's wrong with the normal A4 or Avant?

Rover got it so right it was untrue in 1976 by launching their new executive car with this one body style. No choice, you took it or left it. And they cleaned up. And I'd even go so far as to say that had they continued with the theme of the large executive well-appointed hatchback - preferably V8 and RWD but it needn't even be that - Rover may well still be here.

New directions for Royce and Bentley

Written for AROnline





I’ve always been a bit of a Bentley man. Since Quentin Willson outlined just how inexpensive a Turbo R can be on Top Gear when I was seven , I have made it my ambition to one day own one of these cars. No mere Royce would do, it would have to be a Turbo R or RT. The immense power of these cars coupled to their girth and their splendour is, to me, an utterly irresistable package. Things are much the same when it comes to the Spirit/Turbo replacement, the Seraph and Arnage. I’ve always seen the Spirit of Ecstasy as a little nouveau riche when compared to the flying B. And yet the tables seem now to be turning - the bewinged lady seems to have become the beacon of good taste, and the B on the bonnet of a Bentley could now be taken to mean ‘brash’.

The Bentley Continental range just seems to lack the grandeur that a Bentley SHOULD have; the je ne sais quoi that appeals so in the older Bentleys such as the Arnage and the Continental R. And you see far too many Continental GTs, GTCs, and Flying Spurs pimped up to look like homages to bad taste and excessive wealth. The Mulsanne I wrote about some weeks ago seems to come pre-pimped, with wide chrome window surrounds, a tacky grille, and chrome dinner plates masquerading as wheels

I didn’t like the Phantom when it was launched some six years ago. I thought it was far too overt, too expensive, too tasteless for the true connoisseur. But, in a dark colour and on the right alloy wheels, it has matured into quite an attractive and restrained car. And Rolls-Royce seem to have pulled off the same trick with their new car; the Ghost. Set to retail at about £200000, the car is pitched at Bentley Mulsanne customers and at those seeking to downsize from a Phantom to a car which measures only 17′8″ in length.

The Ghost is based upon a BMW 7-series floorpan, and a 6.6 litre twin turbo version of BMW’s V12 is it’s powerplant of choice. This results in over 560bhp and 575 lb ft of torque - more than you get in the Phantom and about the same as the Mulsanne is predicted to have. Using an eight speed - three or four too many for my liking if I’m honest - automatic gearbox, the car should accelerate to 60 in 4.7 seconds, the same as a Bentley Continental. Cosmetically inside and out it’s basically a shrunken and slightly more sporting copy of the Phantom - not only more subtle than it’s larger sibling, but more subtle also than the new Mulsanne. Kit-wise, it’s unlikely potential owners will be left wanting - the electronic toys on offer include a 330-yard night vision camera and automatically dipping headlamps. The sound system has more speakers than my house, and a 12.5GB hard drive for your mp3s. No doubt it will also be iPod compatible.

Convertible and Coupe variants should be announced following the car’s appearance at next week’s Frankfurt Motor Show, and the saloon will go on sale in the not too-far-distant future. Pimps and rap artists need not apply.